FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS

My payment keeps getting rejected, and my order won't go through - what's happening?

Sometime US Banks refuse point blank to send money to overseas shops and banks. It's a method of protecting you from scammers, so whilst it is very annoying, they are actually trying to help. The best thing to do is to phone your bank, and let them know that you are having problem with the transaction, that it is not a fraudulent transaction, and ask for it to be accepted. This will usually clear the problem up. If the problem continues, please email me on verygrumpyoldcrone@gmail.com - we can usually figure something out with Paypal if all else fails...

When will my order be despatched?

My daughter, the lovely MossiestGhost, comes in most Mondays to help me package up and send out parcels. So your order will generally be despatched the Monday following us getting that order online. There is a slight difference with hoodies, t-shirts and mugs: we send the orders to the printers on Mondays, so there may be a couple of days' delay as the printer makes and packages your order. You will get an email when we either send your parcel or send your order to the printer. If there's a problem, email me on verygrumpyoldcrone@gmail.com as I can track parcels reasonably accurately this end.

I ordered a piece of printed merchandise and some handcrafted things at the same time, but not everything has arrived in the package.

Because we get all our direct Merch items (hoodies, t-shirts, mugs etc.) printed at a factory in your own country (to avoid tariffs and customs) the printer sends those items directly to you, using their own postal service. If you've ordered something like hair wraps, herbs or jewellery etc., then MossiestGhost and I will personally pack your piece, I'll write a little note and we'll take them to the Post Office in person. We'll usually buy a sandwich from the adjoining shop whilst we're there. My current favourite is the New York Pastrami and pickle!

My order is wrong!

The chances of this happening are tiny, but it MIGHT happen if we're having a bad day or get distracted by the cat being cute or something. Just email me on verygrumpyoldcrone@gmail.com and let me know. I promise I'll put it right.

Why are there no new carved items on the shop?

All our carving was done by my son, Jared. His work schedule changed dramatically last year, and he moved house at the same time. He currently doesn't have a wood shop in his new house, and no time to build one. We're hoping he'll find time to do some more, but at the moment, time is not his friend. As soon as I have new stock, I'll put it up, but neither he nor I know when that might be.

Can you send things to the EU?

No. EU law has changed, and then changed again to make it virtually impossible to legally send goods from small shops and manufacturers to the EU. Doing it outside of official channels makes it possible to open up both myself and the customer to investigation and punitive customs charges. I did not vote for poxy Brexit. I hate it. Boils on the bums to everyone who voted to make us smaller, poorer and more bigoted. It wasn't me. Sorry for all those arsehole countrymen of mine. Bewilderingly, it appears to be both cheaper and easier to send things to Australia than to France. It's madness, I tell you.

Why do some things disappear from the shop?

Two reasons:

1. Everything I sell is made or designed by me or people that I know personally. We make things in small batches, and popular items sell out quickly. If the listing is still on the shop and marked as "sold out", I intend to make more and restock. It might be a little while though!
2. I'm experimenting with Sabbat-timed Merch. This means that things with Sabbat-themed designs might only be for sale during the specific Sabbat period. I don't intend to sell Yule cards at Litha, for example. Hoodies are generally only for sale during the winter months, also.

Aragorn or Legolas?

Don't be ridiculous. The answer is very obviously Sam. A man who would walk into an evil lair of endless night to fight a giant spider for his best friend AND can cook? Keep the big boys. We should all want a Sam. Rosie was a sensible lass, and no mistake.